It has been several months since the release of my album and book. I have had pretty great success in selling and distributing the CD & Book sets to so many of you and even to some new people who I’ve never even met in person! That’s pretty exciting stuff!
The energy of the sales got me excited and I worked really hard and forced the finalization and printing of the coloring book. Which was a fail! What I mean by that is, the printing was off and I wasn’t happy with the decisions I’d made for the design and quality of the paper. It certainly was a lesson learned for me of slowing down, waiting on God, and sticking to His timing. Not mine!
As happens with summer, the months have now flown by and I still don’t have a revised coloring book. I have some great ideas but haven’t fleshed it out yet. In fact, I’m feeling a pretty real slump in my overall confidence and in my trust that God will provide. Ouch! Even after all that God has done and shown me, taught me and grown me… I still have to be reminded to abide. I still have to seek God and be in His word. I still have to listen and take direction from Him. I have certainly not arrived!
This picture pretty much sums up the way I’ve been feeling these past few weeks. Stuck! I’ve got a million ideas in my head of what’s next in this journey but I’ve had a hard time knowing where to start. I’m having a hard time balancing the practices of being still and doing the work in front of me. What is the work in front of me anyway? What does God have in store?
Now what?
I’ve had several people ask me if it feels great to have the project done. In my heart my first reaction is to shudder because I don’t feel like it is “done.” For one thing, I do still have a coloring book to make. For another thing, I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to call it “done” and move onto the next thing or put it behind me and go back to the way life was before. I want to keep going. I want to move forward and tell my story to whoever will listen. I want to keep learning from God and sharing that with others through words in songs and words on pages and words on computer screens. When I follow God, my life makes sense. I want to keep following and I want that for other people too!
Even in my moping around not knowing how to move forward I keep asking God to open doors, to lead me, to teach me how to love people better. The answer I keep getting is to keep moving forward, one step at a time. I don’t have to have this all figured out right now. It’s okay to not have all the answers. In fact, I’m reminded that if I had known I was going to be writing a book I never would have started that either! 🙂
God is so good to give us just what we need, right when we need it. There are a few things in my life right now that require my obedience. The kind of obedience that means putting my all out there so that once all of myself is out of the way, God can really move. I don’t want my insecurity or fear to get in the way of what God wants to do.
I want to share a few things with you that are on my heart in the hopes that you would be in prayer with me as I discern what would bring God glory so that those things in my heart that would bring me the most glory can be revealed and removed. My prayer is that the branches in me that do not produce good fruit would be burned away to make room for pruned branches that would produce good fruit (John 15:2)!
These are my prayer requests:
- The best way to finish the coloring book and make it a fun, interactive book with more reflective questions & doodle space.
- Growing my audience through social media venues like Instagram, Facebook, and other typical marketing methods. Is this the way forward for me? Or is it just the way that it’s done these days and God has a different way?
- Open doors to share my story through singing and speaking at events, small groups, Bible studies, etc.
- Is this thing I’m doing a viable business or ministry that could become a supplemental income for my family? And if so, how do I move forward in that without it becoming about me making money or making a name for myself? How could I make it about providing the resources and the space to keep going wherever God takes me without the fear of letting my family down in the process?
- Prayers for the words to speak at the events where God has already opened the doors and also for a way to get there.
- For bravery to keep going and be okay with not knowing the future.
- For continued trust that God will continue to provide!
At times I’m tempted to think that I have to do this thing on my own. Thanks for being the community that keeps asking me how I’m doing, praying for me and encouraging me to keep following God and the dreams HE has placed in my heart!
My heart is full of love for you and I’m praying that even as you pray for me, that you would be encouraged to seek God for who He is and where He might be leading YOU!
So Much Love,
Denise